Y2K Wishlist
What will and what won't disappear
this year end is subject to great debate.* Here's a list of a few
things some people are hoping and wishing might be affected:
- clothing (made) from manmade fibers
- roads (this is what happened to the Romans)
- yogurt
- The Kremlin
- merchandising from The Scream
- your appendix
- Bank of America
- all the hate (neo-Nazi, KKK, anti-gay, whatever) sites with the
simultaneous ka-chunk of hard drives that are as sick and antiquated
as their owners' views
- John Grisham and Ann Rice's word processor
- all SUVs
- Adobe, specifically the Pagemaker help call center
- the red baron, my bald big toe
- mergers and acquisitions
- Britney Spears, or our new landlord, Todd
* This zine is guaranteed 100%
millennium bug proof. Should you find any y2k bugs on it, simply take
it into the bathroom and put it in front of the mirror. Spray with
hairspray and as the bugs are primping and preening and boasting to
one another about the oncoming downfall of the world, whip the magazine
away from them and laugh at their confusion. Care should be taken
that they do not then infect your bathroom. It could be messy.