LCRW
( Laterally Cut Rigid Wedges)
a zine

Small Beer

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No. 18

LCRW 18June 2006 · $5 · 60 pages · Black & white with handtinted woodblock cuts by famous and unknown artists. Printed on a 12th century Chinese letterpress on sheets of kelp-paper handmade by centaurs and sprites. Unattractively bound in the skins of dead animals. Alternately: attractively bound in more handmade paper, these sheets fairly traded from The Mysterions: Those Who Live at the Center of the Earth.

Two Notes

1. LCRW comes out twice a year. Should you wish a third issue, please send us a check for $500. That issue will be the Your-Name-Here Issue. It will also be numbered for our simpler editors.

2. A new literary award. We believe everyone is special (even those people who don't read -- or write for -- LCRW, but this award is not for them). Here is the press release:

June 2006, Northampton, MA. LCRW and Small Beer announces The Eponymous Award, given to all writers on publication in LCRW of their writing. So, Bob Smith has been awarded the Bob Smith Award for Fiction Writing. Jane Smith has been awarded the Nonfiction Award. D.K. Smith has been awarded the Poetry Award. You get the idea.

masthead
Made in the spring of 2006 by:
Gavin J. Grant · Kelly Link
Jedediah Berry · Michael Deluca · Erik Gallant
The Fiction Workshop at Lenoir-Rhyne College

fiction
David J. Schwartz -- Play
John Schoffstall -- Errant Souls
Becca De La Rosa -- This Is The Train The Queen Rides On
Scot Peacock -- Diabolique d'amour
Stephanie Parent -- In Ophelia's Garden
Will McIntosh -- Followed
E. Catherine Tobler -- Threads
Matthew Lee Bain -- A Half-Lizard Boy
Peter Bebergal -- A Static of Names
Sarah Micklem The Fabricant of Marvels
Angela Slatter -- The Juniper Tree
Jeannette Westwood -- Crimson-lady at the Auction, Buying
Fred Coppersmith -- At Uncle Ogden's House
Michael Emmons -- A Message from the Welcomer
Veronica Schanoes -- Swimming

poetry
Jenny Benjamin-Smith -- Two Poems
Sunshine Ison -- Two Poems
Tsultrim Dorjee -- Son of a Bitch

nonfiction
Erik Gallant -- Music Reviews
Gwenda Bond -- Dear Aunt Gwenda
[Name Withheld] -- Article Withdrawal
William Smith -- The Film Column
Zine Reviews

cover art
Emily Wilson

advertisers may include the following:
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Storyteller: Writing Lessons from 27 years of the Clarion Writers' Workshop
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those writers

Matthew Lee Bain writes: I am twenty-nine autumns old. My avocations include the study of psychology, German (language and culture), and philology. In my free time, I enjoy strength training, viewing avant-garde cinema, and rolling around on the floor while screaming in agony. My vocations include writing fiction and poetry; I'm a freelance daydreamer of dark fantasies.

Gwenda Bond wears an N95 mask while posting about books and writing at her blog, Shaken & Stirred.

Fred Coppersmith finds it difficult to write about himself in the third person. He writes stories, and sometimes things that aren't stories -- and sometimes, late at night, things that are caught in some weird place in between. As luck would have it, he lives in New York.

Jenny Benjamin-Smith has had poems published in the New York Quarterly, Poetry Motel, Wisconsin Review, Iowa Woman, Columbia, and Crab Orchard Review. She has poems forthcoming in the South Carolina Review, Chelsea, The Baltimore Review, Hubbub, and Carquinez Poetry Review. She teaches literature to high school students in Milwaukee, Wisc.

Peter Bebergal is the co-author, with Scott Korb, of The Faith Between Us (forthcoming, Bloomsbury), and is an editor at Zeek.net. He lives in Cambridge, Mass.

Becca De La Rosa lives in Ireland and is studying English at university. She refuses to apologise for this. Her fiction has appeared most recently at Strange Horizons, among other places.

Tsultrim Dorjee lives in Southern New Hampshire where he is a student at Vermont College. He received his Tibetan name from Lama Pema Wangdak, and works as a crisis line operator for a peer support center. His poems have appeared or are forthcoming in, The Awakenings Review, Puckerbrush Review, Sacred Journey and Red Owl.

Michael Emmons was born and raised in Missoula, MT, where he now lives. In 2004 he graduated from Northwestern University with a degree in English. This is his first published story.

Erik Gallant lives in Northampton, MA.

Sunshine Ison works in Mexico, is writing a book on beauty pageants, and next year will be working in Vietnam.

Will McIntosh has sold stories to Interzone, Futurismic, Abyss & Apex, Albedo One, and Challenging Destiny. By day, he's a psychology professor at Georgia Southern University.

Sarah Micklem published her first novel, Firethorn, in 2004. She is currently working on the sequel, Wildfire (Scribner., 2007). She lives in New York and Indiana, where she teaches at Notre Dame University. "The Fabricant of Marvels" is part of a series of folk tales from the nonexistent island, Abigomas.

Famous Novelist is working on his umpteenth Great American Sleep Device. His "story" here was written in 1972 and is published in an attempt to pull in more readers for this zine and to pay for his coffee this week.

Stephanie Parent is a recent graduate of Franklin & Marshall College, where she majored in English and Women's Studies. She is currently working as a piano teacher in Baltimore, Maryland while working on a young adult novel. She hopes to attend graduate school in England next year.

Scot Peacock is a senior editor in the academic reference field. His works of weird romance, published in such journals as The Suburbanite and Pluto's Orchard, are few and far between. A novel about a ghost and his mother will remain unfinished for years.

Veronica Schanoes is a writer and scholar whose work has previously appeared on Endicott Studio, Jabberwocky, and Trunk Stories, as well as LCRW. Her poem "The Room" was recently published by Papaveria Press. She does not like cats.

Ma-tsu and John Schoffstall were out for a walk, when they saw some wild geese flying past.
"What are they?" asked Ma-tsu.
"They're wild geese," said John.
"Where are they going?" demanded Ma-tsu.
John replied, "They've already flown away."
Suddenly Ma-tsu grabbed John by the nose and twisted it so that John cried out in pain. "How," he shouted, "could they ever have flown away?"
"Well," said John, "a bird's wing is arched, so that air takes longer to pass over the top than the bottom. Through the Bernoulli principle, this creates lift, enabling flight. Muscular activity provides forward thrust. Birds' bodies also have a number of specializations for flight, including hollow bones that decrease their weight relative to other vertebrates, and a streamlined shape. Birds in flight will rapidly out-distance individuals on the ground, eventually disappearing from their view behind trees or other landscape features. Thus, the birds were able to fly away."
"You're never going to achieve enlightenment, are you?" Ma-tsu asked.
"I just think birds are cool," John replied. "I'm hungry. C'mon, let's get lunch."

David J. Schwartz lives in Chicago with a guitar named June. Cyberdavidjschwartz lives here, but is moody. His stories and poems live in The Third Alternative, Say..., Talebones, and Strange Horizons, as well as previous issues of this publication and others. Han kan norsk, men ikke saa bra.

Angela Slatter is a Masters in Creative Writing student at Queensland University of Technology (QUT), Brisbane, Australia. Her flash fiction has appeared on Antipodean SF several times and she ghost-writes finance articles to help pay the bills. She can often be found pushing papers around a desk at the Creative Writing & Cultural Studies Discipline at QUT, putting her admin-nerd skills to good use.

William Smith makes spanky new books and sells dusty old ones. Find him at trunkstories.com and hangfirebooks.com.

E. Catherine Tobler climbed mountains in her youth, in a bright yellow coat, with shoes that were red, yellow, and blue, and made her feel like a clown. She endured. Writing, she decided, is not that much different. In addition to other places, her short fiction has appeared in SciFiction, Strange New Worlds, Mota 3, and Would That It Were.

Jeannette Westwood is seventeen years old and has attended the Alpha SF/F/H Workshop for Young Writers. She likes paper-mache cats. This is her first publication.

Emily Wilson finds stories inspire her and enable her to create more than she could on her own -- she loves to collaborate. She believes that with all our powers combined we can fight for justice much more easily, and wear really fun outfits -- perhaps matching, in fluorescent colors.

Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet No.18 June 2006 (The Ethereal Issue). ISSN 1544-7782 Text in Bodoni Book. Titles in Imprint MT Shadow. Since 1996 LCRW has usually appeared in June and November from Small Beer Press, 176 Prospect Ave., Northampton, MA 01060 [email protected] lcrw.net/lcrw $5 per single issue or $20/4. Contents the authors. All rights reserved. Submissions, requests for guidelines, & all good things should be sent to the address above. No SASE: no reply. Printed by Paradise Copies, 30 Craft Ave., Northampton, MA01060 413-585-0414. Thanks for reading.

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